Tall Tales of a Time-Traveling Tribble – A Tribble Travelogue

Tall tales of a time-traveling Tribble – A Tribble Travelogue

As transcribed by Jörg Hillebrand

Whenever I’m on vacation, my owner accompanies me. He’s been to all parts of Germany, London, Rome, Australia, St. Louis and Los Angeles. When I spent some time in Los Angeles (and some other interesting places all around the Milky Way Galaxy) last month, he kindly offered to take some snapshots of me at some pretty famous locations. First, we went to Santa Monica Pier, where Janeway and her crew beamed down in 1996 to find a way back home to the 24^th Century.(01) After that, we wanted to visit the historic park where Captain Kirk’s Klingon Bird-of-Prey had landed in 1986. (02)

After that, I wanted to see the Pacific so we went to Gilgo beach, where Ben Sisko had met his future Jennifer a long time ago and burnt his feet in the hot sand. (03)

I was exhausted and needed to feed on some quadrotriticale, so I had a nice little picnic under the tree on Golana, that the O’Brien’s liked so much. (04)

I even climbed on Molly O’Brien’s favorite tree! (05)

The next day, I decided it was time to see some architectural highlights, so I visited the Albino’s fortress on Secarus IV. (06) My owner told me it bore some striking similarities to the buildings of famed Earth architect Frank Lloyd Wright (07)

It was time for some quadrotriticale again, so we had another picnic on Betazed at the same spot where the Trois had been abducted by a mean little Ferengi some years ago. (08) I too was baffled by the similarities between Betazed and the planet Meridian, where Jadzia Dax had fallen in love with Deral (09). On Vulcan, I nearly fell into the famous fountain close to where Kirk’s Bird-of-Prey had landed when he returned Spock to his homeworld. (10)

We went to Bajor next (11) And I stood on the same bridge spanning a small creek, where Vedek Winn had spied on Vedek Bareil and Major Kira some years ago (12).

On Mintaka III, I had a painful encounter with a hostile spiky plant (13). My owner thankfully rescued me and showed me a much nicer place, but warned me to look out for hostile Gorn! (14)

The following day, we beamed down to 892-IV (15) and explored Kataan a little later, (16) after traveling into the past, of course.

I enjoyed a brief trip back to Earth to see Rain Robinson’s workplace, the Griffith Observatory (17) and felt like in paradise when I visited Amerind to see how Miramanee’s people were doing. (18)

The next day was the weirdest ever. I saw the smallest castle I had ever seen (19) and met a strange droid from a galaxy far, far away; talkative little fellow! (20)

With the assistance of my old friend Larry, I visited the famous Paramount studio (21+22), where I was startled to find Benny Russell’s New York apartment (23).

The following day, thanks to Admiral Drex’ time machine, I traveled back in time to Ireland in the 19^th Century and had some drinks at O’Sullivan’s pub in Fair Haven. (24+25)

I was shocked that, 100 years later, the mess left behind by the Martian invasion still had not been cleaned up. (26)

For a time, I was thinking about joining Starfleet, so I journeyed to San Francisco to visit the Starfleet Academy campus, first in the 23^rd Century (27)and then in the 24^th Century (28) where I fell asleep in Boothby’s favourite flower bed (29). Why do you Earthlings call it “bed” if you don’t like us Tribbles sleeping in it? This experience changed my mind about joining Starfleet Academy and, for a moment, I thought about settling on Deneva, after I heard that George Kirk’s old apartment was up for grabs after that nasty neural parasite incident. (30)

Well, before we made it all the way to the Delta Quadrant, to see the underground habitats on Ocampa (31), we thought it would be nice to pay a final visit to various Earth locations. Again, I nearly was soaked by a fountain, this time at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion (32), where Rain Robinson was nearly abducted by Henry Starling. His Chronowerx building was just around the corner, too, so we paid it a visit. (33) It was interesting to see how much Hotel Brian in San Francisco had changed in the 100+ years since Data had resided there. (34)

Surprisingly, it was in Los Angeles, Earth in the year 2010, where I met the strangest creatures. I found a cozy nice spot between Batman’s ears and was nervously eyed by a T-800. Maybe he was jealous, because I was really dear to his metal buddy’s heart. I was nearly swallowed by a Wild Thing and hid from a rather sluggish Spartan executioner. Robots and Wild Things and Spartans – oh my! (35-39)

I was more than relieved when we escaped from these creatures and finally made it to the last stop on our sightseeing tour: Gene Roddenberry’s house in Los Angeles. Can you believe that the Federation flag was still flying? (40)

I had a blast in LA and would like to thank the many people that made this trip so much more enjoyable, especially Jeff, Melora, Alex, Katherine and Jeffrey, Doug and Larry, Jack and Jeff (it was great discussing New Voyages and Phase II with you!), Guy, Donna, Pat and the cool guys at HMS: Mike, Robert and Scott.

Have I mentioned that I also met my future wife in LA? She’s famous, you know, she even appeared on DS9! Here we are in our little garden back home in Germany (41)